


My Best Friends Wedding

by Secretlyademigodinthetardis



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Best Friends, Bottom Dean, Dean is getting married, Explicit because of last chapter, Flashbacks, Friends since they were kids, Idiots in Love, M/M, No one ships Dean/Lisa, Oblivious Castiel/Dean Winchester, Realisation, Really smutty epilogue/deleted scene thing, Sex at the Bachelor Party, Top Castiel, destiel au, slight sabriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-08
Updated: 2014-04-08
Packaged: 2018-01-18 15:23:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1433359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secretlyademigodinthetardis/pseuds/Secretlyademigodinthetardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is getting married to Lisa, and Castiel is happy for him. Isn't he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Of course he was happy for Dean. Why wouldn’t he be? His best friend of 20 years – since they had met in that stupid playground – was getting married to the love of his life.

Castiel was happy for Dean. He knew that Dean and Lisa were meant to be. They would live in a suburban house, have 2.5 kids, and grow old together.

It was meant to be.

So why couldn’t he convince himself?

* * *

_The sound of laughter reached the ears of a 5 year old Castiel as he sat on the park bench, swinging his stubby legs. His 19 year old brother, Michael, patted him on the shoulder._

_“Cassie, go on and play! They didn’t mean to push you over!”_

_Castiel looked up at his big brother, tears in his eyes._

_“But they said I was a freak,” he stammered, bottom lip trembling. “Am I a freak, Michael?”_

_Michael got off the bench, crouched in front of him, and looked into his bright blue eyes, hands on either shoulder._

_“You are not a freak, Castiel. You are one of the brightest children I know, and you’re gonna outshine them all.”_

_At these words, Castiel’s face brightened, and he nodded silently. At that moment, another small boy ran over. Dark blonde hair accentuated his green eyes, and his cheeks were already dusted with freckles._

_“Hi! I’m Dean!” he proclaimed proudly. “Do you wanna play with me?”_

_Michael nudged Castiel._

_“See? I told you you weren’t a freak,” he winked at him, “Now go and play with this nice boy, and we’ll go home in an hour or so.”_

_Castiel grinned at Dean, and leapt off the bench.”_

_“I’m Castiel!” He told him._

_“Castee-el?”_

_“Yeah!”_

_“That’s a cool name! Can I call you Cas? It makes my tongue hurt less. And I heard what your brother said. You’re not a freak, you’re awesome.”_

_The newly-christened ‘Cas’ smiled even more at this._

_“Yeah, you can call me Cas. Do you really think so? The other kids said I am because I have a funny name.”_

_At the sight of Cas’ suddenly shy expression, Dean reached out and took his hand._

_“Yeah, I really think so! And if anyone calls you a freak, I’ll kick their butt for you.”_

_Back at the bench, Michael Novak and Mary Winchester – who had made her way over and introduced herself – observed proudly as the two boys smiled at each other and ran over to the sandpit, never letting go of the other’s hand in the process._

* * *

Cas smiled at the memory of their meeting, then frowned as another thought occurred to him. How was he going to write a speech for the wedding? Despite the fact that Sam was Dean’s best man, Lisa had asked Cas to say a little something, knowing how close they were. Aside from Sam and Lisa, Cas was Dean’s only family after Mary had died in a house fire when Dean was 10, and John Winchester had died of liver failure when Dean was 15 – drank himself to death after Mary had gone.

Cas opened up his laptop, ignoring the sudden pang in his chest as he thought of Dean and Lisa being married. They had started up when Dean had announced the engagement, and happened more frequently since the bachelor party – which Cas had striven to forget.

Maybe he should see a doctor. This could hardly be normal.

Castiel sighed, and began to type.

_Dean…._


	2. Chapter 2

Dean stared into the mirror, thinking about the upcoming wedding. HIS upcoming wedding. He swallowed at the thought. He loved Lisa. Of course he did. What had happened that night was…..it was nothing. He knew it, and so did Cas.

So why did he feel so uncertain?

The thought of living the rest of his life with Lisa should have brought him happiness and comfort, but all Dean could feel was butterflies – no, jellyfish, clawing their way out of his stomach. He even lifted off his shirt, just to look down and make sure there were no hands scrabbling their way out from the inside.

“Don’t stop on my account,” said a voice from behind him. Dean turned around, and Lisa was in the doorway, smiling at him.

“Hey, Lis,” he said, smiling as she walked over to him and put her arms around him. He ignored the twinge in his gut that told him that this was wrong, _wrong, WRONG_, kissing her forehead briefly.

“I missed you today,” said Lisa, sliding her hand slowly down hid back until it reached the top of his jeans. “How was work?”

“Oh, you know, same old, same old. Some idiot couldn’t work out how to jump start their own damn car,” he responded, trying to lose himself in the feel of her hands on him, and definitely not letting the image of a pair of piercing blue eyes (as opposed to Lisa’s warm brown ones) push itself to the forefront of his mind.

“Are you okay? You seem a little…..off” his fiancée pulled back, looking into his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just a little stressed with the wedding plans,” he assured her. “I’m gonna go have a shower now, am I doing dinner today?”

“No it’s fine, you can relax. I’ll take care of it,” Lisa smiled as she walked out.

* * *

Dean stood in the shower, letting the cool water run over his bare body and wash away the grime from the garage. Unbidden, a memory threw itself at him, and he felt himself twitch from the reminder.

_Heavy panting in his ear, which went straight to his already hard cock._

_Stubble scraping gently across his cheek._

_Blue eyes, ones he had known all his life, staring straight into his soul as they moved together._

_A low, gravelly voice as hands caressed him gently, at first whispering, then crying out with pleasure, the same thing over and over._

_“DEAN!”_

Dean looked down and groaned at the sight. How was he this hard from a _memory_?

He willed himself to ignore his almost painfully hard erection, and finished showering once it had gone, vowing (for the millionth time) to forget what had happened.

* * *

Cas was panicking slightly. The only word he had typed up was “Dean”. Why was there nothing else? Why could he not think of anything to say?

A knock at the door made him jump.

Cautiously, he opened it, not expecting to see the sight that greeted him.

It was his cousin, Meg.

“What are you doing here, Meg?” Cas sighed, standing back to allow her inside.

“Well, Clarence, I thought you might need help with the whole speech thing, you know…..considering,” Meg said, smirking at him.

Cas frowned.

“Considering what, Meg?”

Meg gaped at him before replying, “Do you honestly not know?”

“Know what?”

“……..never mind. Just…..with the speech thing. Write what’s in your heart, Cassie.”

“But I have no inspiration. There aren’t words. Dean is….getting married, and I don’t have anything to say to him. Why don’t I have anything to say, Meg? What’s wrong with me?”

“Oh, sweetie,” Meg sat down. “You have got it so badly and you don’t even realise it.”  
“What do you mean?”

“You’ve never had a girlfriend, Castiel. Never dated, never looked twice at anyone who threw themselves your way. Why not?”

“Well, I just……I’ve never felt any attraction to them. Why is this an issue? I never saw the need for a partner, not when I had Dean.”

“Exactly. And now you two have barely looked at each other since you went out for his bachelor party. Why not? We’ve all noticed it. You look so sad now, and you claim to be fine. What am I missing? You can tell me, Clarence, I’m your cousin.”

Cas hesitated. He and Dean had sworn to never speak of it to anyone. But he couldn’t hold it in anymore, he had to tell someone.

“The night of Dean’s bachelor party, I……” The words stuck in his throat.

“You what?”

“I….lost my virginity”

“Well, FINALLY! Someone finally pulled that stick outta your ass, did they? Well, kudos to them! Why is this so huge?” Meg asked, already half knowing what would come out of Cas’ mouth next.

“….I…….it was…..with Dean”

Meg rolled her eyes.

“I know”

“You…..you what??”

“Well, it was only ever going to be him, wasn’t it? You love him”

“What?! No, no I don’t!”

“It’s totally obvious Clarence, the way you two stare at each other. I just can’t figure out why he would marry Lisa when he’s completely smitten with you.”

Cas could only stare at her in stunned silence as he tried to process what she had just said to him.

Finally, words made their way to his numb, dry lips.

“Get out”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Get. Out.”

“Okay, fine, geez. I thought you already knew!” Meg said, holding her hands up in a gesture of surrender as she left the apartment.

Once she had left, Cas sank to the floor, gripping his hair.

He couldn’t be in love, could he? Not with DEAN, of all people?

His best friend?

His best friend who was due to be married in a week?

Was that why he felt so strange around him? Why he couldn’t look him in the eye anymore? Why his heart felt like it would burst every time he saw him, and why he felt like screaming every time he saw him with Lisa?

“Shit,” Cas muttered.

He looked at his laptop, at the Word Document that contained the name of the man who had been by his side his entire life, and tears came to his eyes.

He walked over to the laptop, and restarted his writing efforts.

_Dean, I…_

* * *

Cas sat back, satisfied,  and saved the letter he had written to his files, certain that it would never see the light of day.

Ten minutes away, in her own apartment, Meg smiled to herself.


	3. Chapter 3

Meg knocked on the door.

“Clarence? You in?”

Castiel opened the door and scowled when he saw her.

“What, Meg?”

“I just wanted to apologise. Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

As she entered the apartment, Meg caught sight of Cas’ laptop, open and waiting to be used.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Cas offered begrudgingly.

“Is a coffee okay?”

“My machine’s broken. You’re lucky I want a coffee too, I’ll go to the shop round the corner. Be back in five,” Cas told her, leaving the apartment.

A grin lit up Meg’s face, and she went over to the laptop.

“Well, well, Cas, let’s see your speech, shall we?” she said to herself, typing in the ‘search documents’ bar the word “Dean”.

There was one file that showed up, simply named “Dean”.

Frowning, Meg opened it.

She did not expect what she saw.

* * *

‘Your email has been sent’

“Thank God Castiel left his email open,” Meg muttered, quickly closing the tab and opening up her Facebook as Cas re-entered his home, clutching two large cups of coffee.

“Meg, what are you doing on my laptop?” he frowned.

“Nothing, Clarence, just checking my Facebook. Did you know Ruby’s been arrested?” Meg said calmly, leaning back.

“Again? Was it drugs?” Cas asked, sitting down. Sam’s ex-girlfriend was still a sore point with both the Winchesters, but Cas still kept tabs on her to make sure she didn’t bother Sam again, with Meg helping out simply because she knew how important it was to Cas.

They were cousins, after all, and she would help him in any way she could, whether he knew or wanted it or not.

* * *

“Hey, Lis, you printed out all those emails for tonight?” Dean asked as he made himself a sandwich.

“Yeah, I just clicked ‘print all’, I haven’t looked through them though I thought we’d just read them out in front of everyone,” called Lisa from her seat at the computer.

“Yeah, that’s cool with me,” Dean answered, focusing on neither Lisa or his sandwich, but instead reflecting on how he got to this point in his life

* * *

_“Cas, you know we’ve been buddies for a while, right?”_

_“Yes, Dean, we have been ‘buddies’ since we were five. That was 10 years ago” Cas had responded, looking bored._

_“Yeah well, I want you to meet someone. Cas,, this is my girlfriend, Pamela.”_

_Cas looked startled at this._

_“Please call me Pam,” the girl offered, looking Cas up and down. “So, you’re Dean’s best friend, huh?”_

_Pamela and Dean had broken up a few months after that on amicable terms. Cas had stood by Dean throughout every relationship he had ever been in, but never dated anyone himself._

* * *

Dean wondered why Cas had never dated anyone.  _Was he still a virgin when we…..?_

He ran away from that thought as fast as he could.

_No, that’s impossible. He was probably just too shy to tell me or something._

* * *

_“Cas, I need to tell you something.”_

_“What is it, Dean?”_

_“Lisa and I…..well, we’re getting married”_

_Cas looked exactly the same as he had when Dean had introduced him to Pamela, only on a bigger scale. His eyebrows shot up, and a flicker of something unnamed passed across his face before he smiled._

_“That’s wonderful Dean!”_

_“Thanks, man,” Dean replied, pulling his best friend into a hug and wondering why he felt something twist in his heart._


	4. Chapter 4

It was the pre-wedding party, and all the guests who had been invited to the wedding were at Lisa and Dean’s apartment, which was due to be sold.

Cas entered with a tight smile, looking around at his friends. Now he knew that he loved Dean, he would have to move away. Being in the same place as the married bliss of his best friend and his wife would be too much to handle.

 _I’ll tell him later,_ he decided, moving through the groups of people until he found Sam, who loomed over everybody.

“Cas!” Sam greeted him with a smile, completely unaware of the inner turmoil Cas was dealing with.

“Hello, Sam,” Cas intoned, and a frown crossed the younger Winchester’s face.

“You alright, Cas?”

“I’m fine, I just…have a lot on my mind, is all” Cas forced a bigger smile on his face.

Sam, unconvinced, simply nodded and called over Bobby and Ellen from the snacks table Lisa had set out for everyone.

“So, Cas, you written that speech?” The man who had raised Dean and Sam after their parents’ death winked at him, causing Cas to blush and for Ellen to chide him, saying “Bobby, don’t put more pressure on the boy!”

“No, sir, I’m still trying to find the words to say to congratulate Dean,” Cas answered, enjoying the way the couple easily interacted with one another after years of marriage.

“I told ya, boy, enough of the ‘sir’ crap. Call me Bobby”

“Fine….Bobby,” said Cas, knowing the older man hated being called ‘sir’ but unable to help himself a lot of the time.

“Hey, Cas is here!” A familiar voice yelled, and Cas winced internally as he turned around.

“Hello Dean”

_Can they tell? Do they see?_

“Cas, loosen up, man, it’s a party!” cried Dean, throwing an arm around his best friends shoulder and hugging him. “Haven’t been able to hang out in ages, we need to catch up properly after the wedding!” Dean smiled, but behind it Cas could see a hint of something – sadness?

_I’m just imagining things. Why would he feel sadness?_

“Well, Dean, I do need to talk to you about that. You see I-“

“Time to read out the emails from those who couldn’t be here!” declared Lisa, claiming the attention of everyone in the room. Cas’ mouth clamped shut and Dean squeezed his shoulder, smiling before he made his way over to his fiancée.

“Okay, firstly from Benny:

‘Sorry I can’t make it to your wedding brother, but I’m up to my ears in bar management and I just can’t get the time off. I know you’ll make an amazing husband, don’t forget about your friends though!’

Isn’t that sweet?

Second, from Jo Singer:

‘Dean, you suck for not having your wedding on a day that I could make it. I knew you were a douche the second my parents took in you and Sam, but I love you like a brother.  So please, be a man and get your shit together in time for the wedding, otherwise we’re all screwed. I know you’ll make your parents proud.’ “

Everyone laughed at the messages before ‘aww’ing, but Dean’s mind was a mess. What did Benny mean, ‘don’t forget about your friends’? Why hadn’t either of them mentioned Lisa when they said ‘amazing husband’, and ‘get your shit together’? Did they know about what had happened? How?!

He was snapped out of his reverie by Lisa saying “Next, from…..Cas?”

The room went silent. Cas looked at Lisa, confused.

_I didn’t send anything, I’m right here._

Dean looked at Cas, who was frowning.

_What’s going on?_

Lisa continued to read.

“ ‘Dean, I’m leaving. It hurts too much. I’ve been thinking, and I just….

You’re my best friend, have been since we met. I don’t know what I would do without you. But you can obviously manage fine without me, and I need to learn to manage without you, because you’re getting married. To Lisa. Which I’m totally fine with, by the way.

Except I’m not.

We said we would never talk about it, and I’ll never bring it up again, but that night….your bachelor party….I know we were drunk, well, you were drunk. I have a startlingly high alcohol tolerance, don’t you remember? It still meant a lot to me. I know the fact that we slept together makes no difference to the fact that you are going to marry Lisa, but I thought you should know one thing.

I love you, Dean Winchester. Always have, always will. I wish I’d realised this sooner instead of…well, this, but there you go. And that is something I have to get over, for everyone’s sake. So I’m going to leave, and try to forget the fact that it was you, the man I have been in love with since I was five years old, that took my virginity, and try to start a life somewhere else.

I am truly sorry, Dean

Always and forever yours,

Castiel’ “

There was a stunned silence. Cas was white as a sheet. Tears were pouring down Lisa’s face, and Dean had gone green.

“Okay, everybody out,” Sam ordered, working on automatic as he reeled from shock. Not that he was surprised.

The crowd of people filed out, and Sam placed a massive hand upon Cas’ shoulder.

“Cas?”

The man looked at him, still ghostly pale, but with tears in his eyes that he was completely unaware of.

“I’ll help you outside.”

Dean watched his baby brother help Cas outside, thoughts running through his head at a million miles an hour.

* * *

“Lisa, I-“

“Shut up, Dean. You slept with someone else? At your bachelor party? Not just someone else, your best friend? Who apparently LOVES you?!” Lisa shrieked, sobbing.

“Lisa, I swear, I was drunk, I had no idea he felt like that, please don’t be mad at him, it was my fault, he doesn’t deserve this, I should make sure he’s okay –“

“And even now, now that the truth has finally come out, you’re worried about HIM. I mean, when I met you guys, I thought….but then we started dating, and I can’t believe I managed to delude myself for so long, that you’ve been lying to yourself for twenty years!”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Castiel loves you, and you love him. How do you still not see it? How did I not see it? How was I so stupid?”

“Lisa – but – no – I – I’M NOT GAY!” Dean yelled. “Least of all for Cas!”

“Yeah, I bet you were totally thinking THAT with your dick up his ass – his VIRGIN ass, I might add – or were you the bottom? Dean, we can’t get married. Get out, please.”

Lisa turned away from him, and began to clear up the food left from the party unthinkingly.

Dean, at a complete loss for words, turned and walked to the bedroom to pack up his stuff, his heart heavy.


	5. Chapter 5

Sam and Cas managed the entire journey in silence, which was only punctuated by the occasional sniff from Cas and he silently let tears wash down his face.

They reached the door to Cas’ apartment, and Sam briefly deliberated before grasping his shoulder.

“Cas, I-“

“No, Sam, it’s fine. I just wish I knew how they found it. Why would Lisa read such a thing at her own engagement party? I would never send that to them. I don’t understand.”

“Wait, so you wrote that, but didn’t send it to them?”

“I…..yes, I wrote it. But I would never send that. I would never destroy Dean’s happiness in such a way, I couldn’t do that to him”

“Well who sent it then?”

At this, Cas shrugged.

“I have no idea. The only person to see it was me, because it was on my laptop, but no one else…..”

His voice drifted off as he realised.

“Meg.”

“Meg. As in, your cousin, Meg?”

“She was using my laptop earlier”

Without another word, Cas unlocked his apartment and burst in, reaching for his phone. Sam followed, and was forced to duck as Cas suddenly wheeled around, smashing photographs and sweeping objects off every available surface with his free hand as he raged.

“Cas! Calm down! You’re gonna hurt yourself!”

“Why would she do this to me Sam?!” Cas seethed, crying once more, though Sam doubted he was even aware of it. “Why?! I only realised I loved him after she pointed it out to me! Why would she then do this, betray me?! Family should never do that!”

He made as if to throw the phone he was clutching, then thought better of it, instead dialling a number.

After several rings, the other end was picked up, followed by a drawling “Hello?”

“Meg. What have you done”

“Oh, hey Clarence! What’s up?”

“You know perfectly well, Meg”

“So you’re not all holed up with Dean-O then? Why not??!”

“You have ruined everything, Meg. I was perfectly content to simply leave as soon as the wedding was over, start a new life somewhere else, forget about these stupid emotions, but you’ve gone and ruined that. Their marriage looks like it’s over, all because you couldn’t resist letting everyone find out about a stupid drunken mistake and my stupid irrelevant feelings!”

Cas hung up, not waiting to hear Meg’s protests, and almost collapsed onto the couch, Sam supporting him.

“Cas, do you want me to stay here? Are you okay?”

“No, Sam, do not feel obliged to do that. I hardly deserve it. I’ve ruined everything….I should never have typed that stupid letter.”

“Cas, it isn’t your fault,” Sam said as he awkwardly put an arm around his friends shoulder. “It’s Megs fault. Don’t blame yourself. Dean will be fine and so will Lisa. It’s going to be okay.”

But the final part was lost on Cas, who by now was sound asleep against Sam, too emotionally exhausted to stay awake.

Sam sighed, and carefully lay Cas out on his sofa, before finding a blanket and covering him with it.

His phone rang in his pocket, and Sam pulled it out, checking the caller ID.

“Dean? I’m at Cas’ place. We need to talk.”

* * *

Dean pulled up outside the apartment complex, frowning to himself. All his possessions – as many as he could carry, anyway – were loaded into the Impala. He and Lisa had barely spoken as he made the trips to and from the Impala and the bedroom, carrying his stuff.

* * *

_“Lisa, please, can we at least talk about this?”_

_“Dean, there is nothing to talk about. Just go, at least this didn’t happen AFTER the wedding.”_

_Dean put the last box in the car, and turned to look at her._

_“Lisa, I know you hate me right now, but I promise you, I never wanted it to end like this. I never wanted it to end.”_

_“Are you sure, Dean? Ever since your bachelor party you’ve been acting odd. Everyone noticed it. I don’t hate you, I just wish we could have done this sooner. I don’t know if I can ever see you again, as a boyfriend, fiancé, or even friend. Please, don’t ever contact me again. I need a clean break, and you need to go and sort your shit out with Cas. I should’ve known, I really should have.”_

_With that, she turned and walked back into the building, ignoring Dean as he yelled, “But I don’t love Cas! It was a stupid mistake! I don’t love Cas, I…..I can’t LOVE Cas, can I?” finishing in a whisper to himself._

* * *

Sam looked up from Cas’ secondary couch at the knock on the door. As soon as he opened it, Dean burst in.

“Where is he??” He growled, before catching sight of his best friend completely passed out, for once peaceful and at rest. When was the last time he had seen Cas look like that? Not since he had started dating Lisa, that’s for sure. Dean felt impossibly guilty and distressed as another memory fought to be seen.

* * *

_“Come on, man! Sleepy Hollow isn’t even that scary!” Dean laughed, nudging Cas’ shoulder with his own._

_“Dean, you know my feelings about horror films, and this definitely qualifies as one. And now that I have watched it, I will not sleep tonight, even though you called this a ‘sleepover’” Cas even used quotation marks to emphasise his words, which Dean totally did NOT find adorable, because Cas – his male, straight best friend – was NOT adorable._

_“Look, man, why don’t we just sleep here, on the couch? It’s right up by the wall, and I’ll stay awake and make sure no bad guys get in here. Then that way, you can sleep!” Dean reassured the boy._

_“But you need sleep, Dean”_

_“Nah, I got heaps last night. You look like you need some, though”  
And Cas certainly did. Yawning, he lay down, practically forcing Dean to lie with him, covered by the blanket._

_When Bobby and Ellen walked in on the two 16 year olds the next morning, they made sure to never comment on the fact that Dean had taken on the role of big spoon, with Cas as the little spoon, or the fact that Dean’s arms were completely encircled around Cas, with his face buried into Cas’ dark mop of hair._

_And if Dean had woken up with the worst case of morning wood to ever go on record, he never mentioned it to anyone._

_And if Cas, too, had woken up with a painfully hard erection, he never mentioned it to anyone, either._

* * *

Sam grabbed Dean’s arm before he could wake up Cas, and hauled him outside, shutting the front door as he did so.

“Dean, stop.”  
“You know what he did, Sammy!”

“Actually, he didn’t. It was all Meg,” Sam explained.

“What, so Cas didn’t write any of that?” Dean felt his heart slowly break as he considered the possibility that Cas didn’t even love him anyway, and that the entire drama had been for nothing.

_Wait, that’s a good thing, right?? Two completely straight male best friends, who just happened to have the best sex of my life at my bachelor party….._

_This is so fucked up._

“No Dean, Cas DID write that, but he never sent it. It was in a hidden file on his computer. Meg found it and emailed it to your wedding email account because….well, it is kind of obvious how you two feel about one another.”

“What? No! Why does everyone think I’m in love with Cas? I’m straight, dammit!”

“Dean, please stop pretending. You’ve been a part of each other’s lives for so long. I don’t have a single memory of you that doesn’t include Cas somehow.”

Dean stared at the grimy floor of the hallway before looking up into his younger brothers eyes.

“I know, Sammy, I know. I just……I didn’t even realise….and now….What’s everyone going to think? What will Bobby think? What will Ellen think? I’m not…I can’t be gay, can I? It’s just Cas, no one else. Wait, ignore that part.”

“No, Dean, you said it. It’s just Cas, no one else. You love him, you big idiot. Probably have since you guys were kids”

Dean thought back to all the sleepovers with Cas, all the stares, all the times Cas had stood by him no matter what. He remembered the brief look of pain in Cas’ eyes every time Cas met one of Dean’s girlfriends, Cas’ expression when he found out about the engagement. Worst of all, he remembered the feeling of guilt whenever he saw that look in his best friends face, and the odd relief when Cas had never shown interest in dating anyone, preferring to spend his time with Dean when Dean was free.

“Shit.”

“What?”

“I fucking love him.”

“……..I know”

“Shut up, Sammy”

Dean once again burst into the apartment. There was no sign of Cas anywhere.

“Cas?”


	6. Chapter 6

Cas, in the meantime, had woken up to the sound of low voices outside his apartment door. Creeping over, he managed to hear Dean say: “What? No! Why does everyone think I’m in love with Cas? I’m straight, dammit!”

Cas’ heart sank even lower than it had before. Nodding to himself, he made his way to his room, gathering his more urgent possessions, including his wallet and passport.

 _Fuck this, I’m leaving,_ he thought bitterly, before climbing out of his bedroom window with a travel bag in hand and briskly walking away from where Dean and Sam were so engrossed in their conversation that they didn’t see him.

* * *

Dean ran out of the apartment and reached the balcony just as Cas pulled away from the kerb in his car.

“CAS!!” He hollered, not caring who heard or saw him, just needing Cas to know what he had just realised. Like every other time, Dean had to share his newfound discovery with his best friend, only this time was different. This time Cas HAD to know how he felt, how he had always felt, before it was too late.

Dean flew down the stairs and launched himself into the driver’s seat of the Impala, with Sam close behind.

The Impala – trusted car, friend, family heirloom, and when required, sexmobile – purred as she hurtled down the road, Dean and Sam anxiously looking out for Cas’ cheap VW.

“There!” Sam yelled, pointing.

He was driving to the freeway.

“I’ll call him,” Sam said frantically, pulling out his cellphone.

* * *

Cas’ phone rang, but he ignored it, focusing only on his destination. He just wanted to be free of his feelings, free of the heart wrenching pain he felt every time he saw Dean – pain that he now knew to be love – who could never love him in return.

He wished that he didn’t feel this way.

He wished he could ignore how he felt.

He wished Meg had never found out, and sent that letter that he had so innocently written.

Most of all, though, he wished that Dean was free of him and how he felt, and free to be happy with Lisa.

* * *

“He won’t answer!” Sam cried, after trying to reach Cas for the tenth time.

“Well, I’ll just follow him until I can talk to him,” Dean snarled, switching lanes as he kept his eyes trained on Cas’ car.

* * *

Cas finally pulled over, and leapt out of the vehicle.

At the airport.

“What’s he doing?!” Dean yelled, coming to a sudden stop in the ‘drop off’ zone and following suit. 

“Dean, this is a drop off zone!” Sam anxiously called out, looking nervous.

“Well, Samantha, drive around while I find my best friend!” Dean threw back over his shoulder as he sprinted in to find Cas.

He burst through the automatic doors, sighting Cas as he finished paying for a ticket and heading to the gate.

“CAS!!!!!!” He screamed, voice cracking from the effort.

Cas raised his head as if he heard something, but continued walking.

Dean, desperate, kicked off his dress shoes – belatedly realising he was still in the monkey suit Lisa had forced him into wearing for the party that now seemed years ago – and took off, running through the crowd to find Cas.

_Why did I let her talk me into wearing this outfit._

_Why did I get into a relationship with her in the first place?_

_How could I have been so blind?_

_SHUT UP BRAIN._

_GET TO CAS._

* * *

Cas was halted in his progress by the feeling of a warm, familiar hand upon his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I believe your flight has been cancelled,”

He turned, hardly daring to believe what his ears were telling him.

“Dean?”

Dean smiled.

“Cas, I’m an idiot.”

“Dean, I am so sorry. I never meant for anyone to see that letter. I believe it was Meg that sent it, although it was I who wrote it and I know that you do not feel the same way and for that I apologise. I have ruined your happiness and if you never want to talk to me again I-“

His apology was cut off by the warm press of lips upon his.

“God Cas, we’re both idiots”

Cas was speechless.

“Dean, why did you do that?”

“I love you, can’t you tell? And I know about the Meg thing, and honestly? I couldn’t be happier that it happened. Lisa and I are done, Cas, and I know it’s taken me 20 years to realise it, but I love you. I’m just sorry it took so long, and I’m sorry that I was so drunk when I took your virginity. I’m so sorry I’ve been treating you like shit for so long, man.”

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up”

Dean’s retort was interrupted by Cas kissing him.

And man, it was amazing. This time, neither of them tasted of booze or desperation, and as Dean shyly moved his tongue over Cas’ lips and Cas let him in, he had never been happier.

* * *

Sam tapped the wheel of the Impala impatiently. What was happening? Had he found him? He peered out the car and glimpsed the two men inside the airport, so wrapped up in each other that the world had ceased to exist. Smiling, he went to do another lap of the drop off zone, when a ma n in security uniform sucking on a lollipop approached the window and tapped on it.

“Sir, you’ve done five laps of the place. What exactly is going on? This is mildly suspicious behaviour”

Sam grimaced and looked at the officer, before allowing his jaw to drop slightly. The man was short, with combed back hair, golden eyes and a semi-permanent smirk.

“Uhh…I…ummm…”

“OR, considering your looks and the fact that I’m obviously too dazzling for you to handle, we could exchange names and numbers and you could take me out to dinner?” The man winked, and stuck his hand in the window. “The name’s Gabriel.”

Sam ignored the heat in the pit of his stomach as he shook Gabriel’s hand.

“Sam. Sam Winchester.”

Gabriel smirked.

“So, Sammy, what brings you here this fine evening?”


	7. Chapter 7

“That’s the last box!” Dean declared, walking into his and Cas’ new apartment and beaming at his partner.

Cas smiled and walked over to Dean before wrapping his arms around his waist.

“I love this place, Dean”

“I knew you would,” Dean smiled as he placed a kiss on the end of Cas’ nose before staring into his eyes. “And I love you, so much”

Cas smirked as he replied, “Took you long enough to work out.”

“Hey! I wasn’t the only one!” Dean protested, managing to shut the front door before he lifted Cas off the ground and pinned him against the door.

“Now, let’s check out that bed,” he murmured in his ear as he pressed his body against the man, still revelling in how _right_ it felt six months later.

Cas groaned as he planted kisses along Dean’s neck while trying to bring him even closer, the feeling of complete and utter desire running rampant through his body.

“Race you there,” he whispered, and slipped out from where Dean had him pinned, laughing as he took off down the hallway.

Dean caught up with him as he reached the bedroom, clamping his arms around his waist and sending them both down onto the bed.

“I’ll never get used to this,” Cas said, smiling up into the face of his smiling partner.

“Used to what?”

“Being with you. Being able to be with you. It’s just….amazing”

“I know. But you aren’t getting rid of me. Ever.” Said Dean, nuzzling into Cas’ neck and nibbling it lightly. “I don’t ever plan on letting you go Cas, you should have realised that when you met me.”

Throwing his head back from pleasure and delight, Cas said, “And the name ‘Castiel’ doesn’t make me a freak?”

“Never”

FIN


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is the deleted scene with the bachelor party and sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are all aware of just how fucking difficult it was to upload the final part of this because I had to use my iphone for this chapter. So I'll edit any mistakes tomorrow.
> 
> PS remember this is the BACHELOR PARTY. Which happens BEFORE the events in the story (aside from the flashbacks to when they were kids)

There was a steady thumping emanating from the club, which seemed to beat in time with Castiel's frantic heart. He stood in line outside with Dean, shivering as the cold seeped through his thin dark blue shirt. Dean, already most of the way to being drunk, bounced on his toes excitedly, peering over the top of the heads of everyone else. He wrapped an arm around Cas, who wasn't sure if the sudden goosebumps he felt were a result of the cold, or the close contact with his best friend. "Dean, really? I would never have thought that you of all people would choose a place like this for a night out." He really wouldn't have. Dean as a rule much preferred a bar, with 'real music' playing, and no 'freaking dancing'. Not the – Castiel glanced up – Highway to Hell, a club that had a reputation for attracting the town's gay patrons, and declared its name in bold, purple lettering above the doorway.

"Come on, Cas! Liven up! It's my bachelor party!" Cas smiled at his friend's exuberance, the excitement contagious. A thought occurred to him and he frowned slightly.

"Dean, where is Sam? And Benny? I had assumed that they would be joining us tonight." Dean's smile faltered briefly.

"Nah, Benny's up to his neck in work and Sammy's got the flu 'cause he's a little bitch. Just you and me, Cas! The way it used to be, remember?" The smile – the heart-warming smile that could cause the very sun to rise – made a return, Dean releasing its full wattage onto Castiel, who couldn't help but smile back.

"Yes, Dean. I remember." And they were smiling at each other, and the world and it's terrifying thumping bass music faded, and then they were at the front of the line, Dean dragging Cas by the hand into the hot, loud, steamy club.

* * *

Cas had managed to down at least ten shots in one go, to Dean's everlasting horror and dawning astonishment. He'd been sure the guy was a goner, but Cas had been a trooper to the max, simply working his way through them and then smiling at Dean dreamily. Dean, now completely adrift on his own musky cloud of alcohol, grabbed Cas' hand and dragged the man behind him to the dance floor.

The two men began to dance, Dean going with the rhythm, Cas shifting awkwardly as his heartbeat became more and more erratic. Dean, noticing his discomfort, laughed before hauling the smaller man towards him. Cas grunted as their bodies collided, and suddenly Dean's hands were on his waist, holding him steady. Dean looked mildly surprised – he didn't remember telling his hands to do that – and looked at his best friend, who was looking at him uncertainly.

"Look, man. You gotta loosen up! Just…lemme help" These last words were spoken softly into the shell of Cas' ear, as Dean leaned down towards him. Their bodies were pressed tightly together by the crowd around them, and Dean slowly shifted his hips, Castiel losing himself in the feel of the hardened muscle against him and grinding back. They rocked together, the people around them dissolving into insignificance.

Dean's chest felt like it was about to burst. His groin was on fire, and it was all because of the way Cas – Cas, of all people – was moving against him, his naivety undetectable as he followed Dean's movements. His hands were now locked around the back of Dean's neck, keeping him in place as the two men pressed their faces into the other's neck, breath blowing out warm and wet against the sensitive skin. Not that Dean would have moved if he could. Every nerve in his body was hyper-sensitised, and it was all he could do to keep himself from completely letting go. He vaguely remembered a woman called Lisa, but none of that mattered, because Cas was there, and Cas was pressed against him, and heat and lust was spreading out through his body from where their bodies touched, which was everywhere.

Cas pulled his head back, unable to take it anymore. He'd never felt this before – this sudden, raw want – and all he knew was that if they kept dancing like this, he would explode, but if they stopped, he would die. It was confusing, and Cas did not like being confused, so he looked Dean in the eye. Dean stared hopelessly back, neither of them able to form a coherent sentence. Cas felt something pressing into his groin, and the realisation that it was Dean's hardened cock only served to make him realise that he too was straining against the confines of these stupid, suddenly unnecessary skinny jeans that Dean had thrown at him earlier that day and told him to buy or _so help me God, Cas, I will buy them for you, pin you down, and put them on you myself._

The thought of being pinned down by Dean suddenly seemed a lot more attractive. Or pinning Dean down – now _there_ was an idea.

Cas' mouth parted slightly at the thought, and suddenly Dean was kissing him. And it was all that mattered, because Dean was grasping at him, pulling at his body to get closer, closer, and Cas was doing the same, and their tongues were ravishing each other's mouth and Dean moaned brokenly into Cas' mouth and that was _it_. Cas ran his hands lightly around the waistband of Dean's own worn jeans before dipping his hands down the back of them and pushing against the firm cheeks there so that Dean's erection was rubbing against his own, and as Cas let his head fall back, helpless, he let one finger trace the circle of Dean's entrance. At this, Dean let out a noise Cas had never heard before in his life (but he would kill to hear it again and again), latching onto his neck and licking kissing and sucking in a dark bruise that dragged a breathy moan from the smaller man, before growling in his ear, "There are back rooms here and so help me Cas if we don't get to one right the fuck now I will rip every piece of clothing you have with my teeth and impale myself on your dick right here and now."

That was all Cas needed to hear. Blindly, drunkenly, he and Dean managed to make it off the dance floor, barely able to keep their hands off one another until they found an empty room.

Once they were inside, Dean found himself slammed up against the back of the now locked door, Cas licking and nipping at his bottom lip. He let out a high-pitched keen – one that he would vehemently deny – and shifted his hips, desperate to get out of these clothes. Why was he in clothes, again? Neither of them should be in clothes.

"Cas, please," he whined. Cas was now entirely in his element, and flung Dean down onto the leather couch that reclined against a wall. Dean whimpered. He would never admit it, not to anyone, but being dominated like this?

Biggest. Turn on. Ever.

If Cas asked, Dean knew he would let Cas do whatever the hell he wanted to him – gag him, tie him up, whip him, ride him into the sunset – and Dean would _enjoy the living fuck out of it._

This was nothing like sex with women, where he was in control. He'd never been with a guy before. But this was Cas, and Cas was going to get his dick inside Dean, or else Dean would die.

He all but ripped his clothes off, only breaking eye contact with the panting, blue eyed man standing over him to haul his shirt off. Cas followed suit, unbuttoning his shirt slowly, savouring the way Dean was looking at him. The lighting was soft, and illuminated Cas hazily, making it look like he was glowing. Dean, the man with absolutely no filter between his brain and his mouth, blurted out the words he would block the memory of saying, the words that Cas would flick back to in the moments before he fell asleep; "Cas, are you an angel?"

Cas finished unbuttoning his shirt, staring at Dean unashamedly before smiling.

"No, Dean. But you're about to feel like heaven."

And Dean's answering cry of desire was swallowed by Cas' mouth. They were finally, gloriously naked, rubbing their cocks against one another with helpless abandon, moaning at the friction.

"Cas, get inside me. Now" Dean demanded, knowing that he was leaking pre-cum already and he wasn't going to last much longer. Cas placed his hands on Dean's shoulders, forcing him to stay in place against the warmed leather. Dean was almost ashamed of the desperation that was in the sobs escaping his mouth, and his erection was growing almost painful as Cas took control, finding Dean's belt and tying his wrists together above his head.

They were both completely sober now, adrenaline overtaking the alcohol in their veins and Dean couldn't have cared less about anything but Cas, who was right there in front of him and doing exactly what Dean wanted.

Without having to ask, Cas knew exactly what Dean needed, which should have scared the hell out of Dean, but they were both too far gone to care. Cas, who had experience with preparing someone (self-experimentation changes a man), suddenly realised something. "Dean. We have no lube." 

"Don't care. Use spit, your fingers, just split me open, for the love of God, get inside me." Dean begged, writhing underneath Cas. Cas stood up, Dean almost crying from the loss of the body above him, and found a tie by the door – presumably left there to tie around the door handle for privacy – and made his way back over. Dean bit his lip as he saw Cas in all his naked glory walk over to him, his throbbing erection bouncing against his stomach as he took each step.

Dean could feel his own dick become even harder, practically purple from the arousal coursing through his veins. "Dean. Open up that mouth of yours."

And obediently, Dean did. Cas placed the small bundle of fabric next to Dean's face, and slid two fingers inside Dean's mouth. Dean groaned around them, slicking them up with his tongue and lips, sucking greedily.

Cas' expression was priceless, his entire focus upon the debauched 'ladies man' that lay beneath him begging to be fucked. He briefly entertained the thought of having those plump, perfect lips around his cock, but he knew he wouldn't last long enough for that to happen. Before he lost it, and came all over the pair of them, he removed his fingers and replaced them with the tie, careful not to choke Dean, and securing the tie so that Dean was gagged.

"Now, Dean, you need to learn to be quiet don't you? You have to behave if you're going to be fucked by me." And he gently massaged the muscle around Dean's opening before sliding a finger in. Dean's reaction was phenomenal. He arced off the bed with a muffled cry, sinking back down on Cas' finger as if begging for more.

Cas rotated his finger, moving it further inside before dragging it back out. It wasn't long before he was able to add his second finger, and Dean pushed back onto them with a moan, fucking himself on Cas' fingers desperately. The feeling of Dean's entrance pulsating around his fingers was velvety soft, and Cas was shaking with anticipation as he carefully scissored Dean open. Cas whispered in his ear, not even aware of what he was saying, only knowing that the dirtier he got, the more Dean wanted him. He added a third finger, and brushed against Dean's prostate. The man bucked his hips, and would have screamed in pleasure had he been able to.

Cas was in awe, seeing the powerfully built body of his best friend reduced to a quivering, boneless heap of jelly under him. He would've thought it would have been the other way around – the virgin being dominated by the sexpert – but apparently not. Cas removed his fingers and Dean spread his legs even further, trying to guide Cas' dick to his hole simply by the shifting of his hips. Cas licked a stripe up his hand firmly, slicking up his leaking cock with his own saliva. He looked at Dean, suddenly unsure.

"Dean, are you sure about this?" Piercing green eyes met his, and Dean nodded as his best friend lined up his cock with his entrance. Cas slowly began to push in inch by inch, being enveloped completely by the tight heat of Dean. He shuddered, willing himself not to blow then and there. Dean felt Cas splitting him apart, and let out a low moan against the makeshift gag. He was enjoying this far too much, but he didn't care. Once Cas was firmly sheathed, they waited a moment, breathing heavily. Cas tugged the tie out of Dean's mouth.

"Have you learnt your lesson?"

"Yes, Cas, please, I'll be good, I swear, please move!"

Dean was shocked at his own submissiveness, but then Cas began to move slowly and any hopes of coherency flew out the window. Dean locked his legs around Cas' waist, urging him to go faster, further, deeper inside. Castiel adjusted his angle slightly, and he managed to ram right into the hidden bundle of nerves that made Dean go insane.

"Right there, yes, God Cas, please"

"Do you like this, Dean? You like my cock inside you? You want me to keep fucking your ass, you little cockslut? You want me to fill you up?"

Cas growled into Dean's ear, letting words fly out of his mouth. Dean's eyes widened in shock at Castiel's dominance and he nodded frantically.

"God yes"

"I want to hear you say it, Dean. I want you to beg for it, beg for me"

"I love your cock, Cas, I want you to fill me up, want you to pound into my ass, don't stop, I need to feel it so I can't walk for a week"

And Cas did, relentlessly pounding into Dean, the only sounds in the room the slapping of skin against skin and the breathy cries elicited from both men, who were too gone to make any other noise.

Cas could feel the pressure building, all too soon, in his abdomen, and he began to sigh Dean's name, louder and louder until all the feelings and unknown tension that had been building up for years finally burst through the dam and - 'Cas...Cas...Caaas!' and Dean came, untouched, undone by Cas slamming into his prostate and the feeling of being dominated completely and overwhelmingly. White ropes of come splattered across their stomachs, Dean riding out his orgasm with abandon as he gripped Cas even more tightly with his legs.

His wild clenching and unclenching around Cas' girth caused Cas to come at the same time, with a hoarse yell of 'Deeean!', filling Dean up with his own release and instinctively continuing to thrust into him, before slumping over and falling onto Dean, his trembling arms unable to take his weight anymore. Dean's cooling semen stuck to the both of them, and Cas absent-mindedly reached up to help Dean's hands out from the belt.

Dean let his arms rest on Cas' back, and they breathed in the scent of one another for a few minutes. Dean relaxed and held Cas in sheer content and happiness before he realised exactly where he was and what he had just done. He bolted upright, sending Cas sprawling into the floor.

'Shit.' Cas looked at him with wide eyes. 'Shit shit shit shit shit. That just fucking happened. This was a mistake. Shit. I'm so sorry. Shit.'

Dean was rocking back and forth, knees tucked into his chest and hands clutching at his hair. Cas reached out and touched his foot cautiously, and Dean recoiled, grabbing his clothes and throwing them on after he wiped himself off with the tie - that fucking tie.

Cas silently dressed himself, not understanding why he felt so rejected. Dean was right, it was a mistake. Cas had no idea what had come over him - had come over the both of them. He spoke hesitantly.

"Dean, it's all right. I will not tell anyone. Go to the bathroom, organise yourself, and go home to Lisa. It will be okay." Dean looked at him desperately as he walked over to the door. Cas, ignoring the way his stomach revolted at the sight of his best friend looking so panicky - and at the memory of what they just did - smiled reassuringly.

"Dean. Go." And Dean left, leaving Cas to fall back into the couch half naked. He had just slept with his best friend. His straight best friend. Who was getting married in two weeks. _He had just lost his virginity to his straight best friend who was getting married in two weeks._

"Fuck," Cas whispered miserably to himself, before gathering the strength to dress himself and make his way out of the club, alone.

* * *

Dean winced at the pain in his ass as he eased himself into the backseat of a taxi, wearily giving the driver his and Lisa's address.

Had that really just happened? Did he just sleep with his best friend? Had Dean managed to fuck up one of the only friendships he had?

_Dammit_ , Dean cursed inwardly.

The next day, the burn between his legs was still there. He grimaced slightly in the shower as the warm water flowed over him, softening the pain a bit.

When he checked his phone, there was a new message from Cas.

**Dean. I have found (through sources that shall remain unknown to you) that if one feels a burn there the morning after, Vaseline is a great use for helping to soothe this.**

Dean smiled, but couldn't bring himself to text back through the guilt two little words: "Thanks, Cas."

* * *

Cas flung his phone back across the couch. He hadn't expected Dean to reply, but some acknowledgement would have been nice. He had taken Cas' virginity after all - not that Dean was aware, for all Dean knew Cas' 'unnamed sources' were people he'd fucked.

Cas and Dean avoided one another after that night.


End file.
